My cat, Lucy, has always been pretty weird. The first time we met, she was playing with a twist tie like it was the most amazing thing she’d ever discovered under a sofa cushion. Meanwhile, she hates cat toys of all varieties, moves picture frames out of alignment to get my attention, and perches at the top of the cat tree and looks down at everyone like the hero of Gotham. Weirdest of all, though, are the things she likes to eat. Every day, she takes her life in her paws, eating things (or attempting to) that are definitely not for feline consumption. Let’s take a look at some of her favorites.
Things she finds in the sink:
If you put a plate in the sink, be sure to wash it right away, or 20 minutes later, you’ll hear the distinct sounds of someone licking it. Is it a very hungry ghost? No, it’s just Lucy, sitting in the sink eating pasta sauce.
Don’t even think about eating a Halloween caramel without letting my cat at least lick your fingers. One whiff of caramel breath you tried to hide, and Lucy will attempt to shove her entire head in your mouth to see if it’s full of toffee.
It’s Friday night, and all you want to do is veg out and eat your turkey burger in peace. But all Lucy wants is a french fry. Can she have one? Can she? Can she…please?
“Is that a heart-healthy omelet you’re trying to make? Not without my help, you aren’t,” meows Lucy, as she eagerly awaits a crumb of cheese to drop to the floor.
I suppose the appeal of attempting to eat an entire spool of thread is how the fun continues until the spool is empty. The part that’s not so fun is your owner walking in, catching you in the act, and pulling the string out in reverse.
As far as Lucy is concerned, if the can opener was involved, anything that results is fair game for cats. Just don’t be surprised when you walk into the kitchen and find my cat eating beans out of the crock pot of chili you’re preparing.
Old cereal milk:
Nobody believes me when I say, “Don’t eat that cereal in the same room as Lucy.” They think, “What can she do?” Oh, not much. Just try to knock the bowl out of your hands and meow at you until you give her the old cereal milk as a reward for watching you eat so diligently.
You know those people who eat blowfish so poisonous that restaurants have to hire specialized chefs to prepare it? Lucy scoffs at those fools because every day would be a poisonous house plant buffet if she could have her way.